Souuke no Kokoro wo Tsukamae!
by Shirohane
Summary: Sasuke always does his best to keep other boys away from cute uke Narutochan! Do your best to capture Naruto's heart, Sasuke! Sasuke x Naruto.


Hi! My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I'm thirteen years old, and I'm a boy! I love red bean soup and cup noodles, but I hate waiting for three minutes it takes for the noodles to cook. My greatest ambition is to be a hokage. I have a crush on a really cute girl named Haruno Sakura. She's so smart and pretty! But I'm in a really huge pinch right now, because there is a big problem that I must overcome. And that problem is!

"…Dimwit."

…Geh. My greatest rival (and best friend)… Uchiha Sasuke.

**So-uke no Kokoro wo Tsukamae!**

"What is it, what is it--! Why the hell are you following me, you annoying jerk!" I yelled, turning around and giving Sasuke my fiercest glare. There was not even a hint of change in Sasuke's expressionless face, and he continued to follow me as if he didn't hear me. The bastard! "Uchiha Sasuke! I demand you to stop following me right now! As in, right this instant!"

That made Sasuke stop all right. Hah, I showed him! He stared down at me, looking at me with this superior look in his eyes. It didn't help that Sasuke's taller than me. Damn. I hate being short! You just wait, Sasuke. I'm going to drink tons of milk and grow as tall as a telephone pole and stare down at _you_ someday! Then you'll know how it feels to be short!

"Naruto," he said patiently, as if he was talking to a snot-nosed brat who wouldn't understand half the things he said. "We happen to be in the same team. So, believe it or not, we share the same mentor whom we need to see to get instructions for our next mission. That means that we are headed to the same meeting place as of now, thus it is inevitable that I am headed in the same direction as you are. Or is that bit of information too much for your tiny brain to handle?"

I felt my face getting hot. "Shut up, shut up! I hate you!"

"That's a relief to hear," he shot back, smirking. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. He's so mean! He probably doesn't even think of me as his friend! And he… why the hell is he keep staring at my ass!

"Uchiha Sasuke, stop staring at my ass!" I said. My voice came out higher than I intended, so I sounded like some kind of a girl. Damn it, damn it! I want low tenor voice like Sasuke's! Why was he born with all the good stuff!

"What are you, stupid? Why would I look at a guy's ass?" Sasuke dryly asked. B, but you _were_ staring! Liar! Lecher!

"Then you walk in front!"

"Hn. You can keep on walking if you want to."

It was then that I realized that we were already at the meeting place. I hate to admit this, but sometimes my stupidity even amazes me. I felt embarrassed, so I turned my head away and didn't look at Sasuke. Long after I grew tired of Sakura trying to flirt with Sasuke and hearing him treat her like a squashed fly (but I had to admit she was starting to annoy me, too—why beg for that jerk's attention when someone who's ready to pay her all the attention in the world was right by her side?), Kakashi-sensei finally showed up and explained that today's mission required us to split into teams composed of two members.

"Ah, then I want to pair up with Sakura-chan!" I said.

"Please, please let me pair up with Sasuke-kun!" Sakura pleaded at the same time.

"The dunce is probably going to get himself killed if I don't look out for him, so I'll be nice enough to go with him," Sasuke added. Ew! I don't want to go with him! Kakashi-sensei sighed.

"Let's draws straws, then," he offered, holding his hand out. We each drew a straw. Desperately hoping that I've been paired up with Sakura-chan, I looked at the straw in Sakura-chan's hand. It was orange, and mine was blue. Rats.

"Let's go, dimwit," Sasuke said, taking hold of my wrist. My eyes caught the blue-tipped straw in his hand.

…why? Why do these things keep happening--!

"Nuooooo! This is some sort of setup! I demand redraw! Not him! Anyone but him!" I wailed. But Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan were already leaving. Didn't anyone care about _my_ feelings! More importantly, didn't anyone care about my safety! If I'm alone with Sasuke, he does weird things to me! Like, like…

"Hauuuu--!" I clutched my butt and backed away. "Why the heck are you groping my ass!"

"There was a mosquito sitting there," Sasuke said. Yeah, right! How come there is always a bug sitting on my behind? And how come Sasuke's the only one who always sees it!

"I'm really not going to play with you anymore if you keep doing weird things!" I snapped. Sasuke shrugged.

"What's the big deal anyway? You're going to have sex with me sooner or later anyway."

"Hauuuu-- Don't remind me…"

I can't believe I've promised my virginity away to him. See, Sasuke saved my life once, and he nearly died because of that. I felt pretty crappy about it and all, so I said I'd do anything for him while I was visiting him at the infirmary. Then he asked for my virginity, and I didn't know what that was, so I promised to give it to him when we're eighteen. I nearly died when I found out what 'virginity' was later on. My only comfort is that we're both guys. Two guys can't _really_ do it, right? _….right_!

"Get your hands off of my chest!" I said, trying to pull out of his arms. Sasuke ignored me and started to unzip my shirt. "Sasukeeee!"

"Wahahaha! Cute little gennin from Hidden Leaf, huh? Hand over the scroll you're transporting if you value your life!" An ugly guy said, suddenly rushing out from the bushes and brandishing a kunai at us. What the hell's his problem? Can't he see that I've got more pressing issues in my hands right now! Like protecting my chastity, for one thing!

"We're eventually going to do it, so what difference do few years make?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his hand against my nipples. It felt weird. When he's touching my tits, it's kind of ticklish and it makes them hard and tingly, so it hurts when my shirt rubs against them later on.

"Don't-touch-me!"

"…Hello? Are you guys listening?"

"Stop acting like a girl! What's the big deal about touching your chest!"

"It's what comes after the chest-fondling that makes me worried!"

"…Boys?" I saw the enemy… dude… moving towards us from the corner of my eyes, but I was too occupied with Sasuke to do anything about him.

"If you keep treating me like a pervert, I'll embrace you for real, even if I have to force myself on you! _Chidori_!"

"What! So you're going to break your promise! Don't come near me you pervert! _Rasengan_!"  
We lunged at each other with no other thought than knocking each other out. So we were kind of surprised when our concentrated chakra made contact with the enemy dude who got impatient and jumped in the middle to attack us. There was a sizzling sound, and then the guy kind of flew off. We stared at the poor guy flying across the sky in silence until he disappeared from our line of vision. …I wouldn't be surprised if the guy's permanently damaged. I felt bad, but who told him to come between us when we were fighting, anyway?

"Well, we should go finish our mission. Let's deliver the parcel and go eat," Sasuke finally said after a moment of silence.

"Good idea." When I didn't move, Sasuke looked at me curiously. I gave him a nervous smile. "…You walk ahead of me."

* * *

"Here, Sasuke." I took the vegetables out of my noodles and gave them to Sasuke, who gave me his meats in exchange. I don't remember when we started to trade our food like this, but it's great. Sasuke eats all the vegetables for me, and he even gives me his meat, even though I know he doesn't particularly hate meats or anything like that. Maybe he gives me his meat because he feels bad about getting my vegetables. But I really hate them, so it's actually a good thing for me that he's taking them away. 

"…What are you guys doing?" Shikamaru, who was eating next to us, asked. He looked kind of green. Maybe he wasn't feeling so well.

"Sasuke's eating my vegetables for me!" I cheerfully said. "And look, he gave me all of his _chashu_! Do you want some, too?"

…Huh? Somehow… I feel killing aura from somewhere… I wonder why? Shikamaru must've felt it, too, because he shook his head and went back to eating. He must've been really hungry, because he gulped all those hot noodle and soup really quickly.

"Isn't this chair too hard?" I turned to Sasuke and asked, who was quietly eating his noodles. Sasuke looked up.

"Really? I don't really care, but… Do you want to sit on my lap, then?"

"Eh, really? I can do that? Yay" I got up from my chair and plopped down on Sasuke's lap. It might seem like a really stupid thing to do, considering what he was doing to me earlier, but Sasuke won't do weird things in front of people we know. He was warm and he smelled nice, so it was really great to sit on his lap. Shikamaru choked on his food and started to cough up a storm. No wonder; he was eating so quickly. …I wonder why he left without finishing his food? Oh well. His loss, not mine.

After I've drank the broth to the last drop, I suddenly realized that I really had to go. Sasuke had this death grip around my tummy, so I poked him. He looked up from his food. "Uh, Sasuke? Let me go; I need to pee," I told him. He looked really reluctant to let go. Argh! I really had to go! "Sasukeee--!"

"Okay, okay," Sasuke grumpily said, finally releasing me. While he paid for the food I splintered to the restroom. Kiba and Shino were there, so I said hi to them and I started to pull my pants down. Sasuke followed me. I wondered if he had to pee, too, but he totally freaked out on me instead of doing his business.

"Dimwit! What do you think you're _doing_!"

"Uh…. I'm… peeing?" I informed him. Man, and he's supposed to be the smart one. Sasuke grabbed my hand.

"You can't use a urinal! Come here and use a stall."

"What's wrong with a urinal? I only have to pee," I said as he ushered me into a stall and locked the door.

"Other guys will see your lower body part! Have you no sense of modesty!"

…Okay… I always knew he had problems, but he was really starting to get seriously demented.

"Sasuke, just to remind you, I'm a guy," I said. I pulled my pants down and noticed Sasuke staring at me in a rather private part of my anatomy. "And why the hell are _you_ looking at my wee-wee!"

"Hn. How childish, calling your penis wee…"

"Whatever; get out!"

I kicked him out of the stall and did my business. Sometimes I really wonder about that boy. I think his head's been knocked around too much during the missions.

* * *

Sasuke wrote the mission report, so I offered to bring it to the fifth hokage. Sasuke insisted that he come, too, but I told him I'll be fine by myself and he'd better go home and rest, because he had another mission tomorrow and I didn't. Sasuke looked like he wanted to come anyway, but he knew I would be pissed off if he kept treating me like a baby, so he finally left. He told me to contact him if anything comes up before he left. He's a pervert with lots of issues to resolves, but I think at times he could be rather sweet. 

"Ah! Neji!"

Approaching the central, I found a familiar face and widely waved my arms to catch his attention. Neji caught my eyes and walked up to me. Glancing at the scroll in my hand, he asked, "Mission report?"

I nodded. "Why are you here, Neji?"

"To retrieve a document for Gai-sensei. I think he wants to learn a new jutsu so he can challenge your mentor again."

"They're quite childish at times, aren't they?" I asked, laughing. Neji surprised me by smiling bck. He had a really nice smile! He should smile more often.

"Indeed…"

Preoccupied with the miracle called 'smiling Neji', I didn't watch where I was going and tripped. There was a split second when I became airborne and I thought, 'Aw shoot, this is going to hurt…' before sturdy arms encircled my waist and I was hoisted back up. Neji buried me in his chest, and I was so close that I could hear his heartbeat. He was very warm, and unlike Sasuke's cool, minty smell Neji had sweet, gentle jasmine fragrance. It was a very nice smell and he felt good, even though his chest didn't feel as soft as Sasuke's, so I felt my face growing a little warmer as I was reminded of the times Sasuke held me like this. I stammered out, "T, thank…"

A kunai suddenly sliced through the air and if Neji hadn't dodged just in time, he would've gotten his ear cut off. As it was, the thrower must've been good because even Neji got a cut in his cheek. I pulled away from him and reached for my set of kunai, but Neji didn't look alarmed; only annoyed.

"And just who is…!"  
Saa—

Blood drained from Neji's face and I felt an intense killing aura that I felt before, except it was so much stronger. Neji muttered something under his breath before he left without even saying bye to me. While I tried to figure out just what the heck happened, a cheerful feminine voice loudly said, "Hi Sasuke-kun! What are you hiding behind this tree for?"

Uchiha… Sa. Su. Ke! I should've known; it's all that guy's fault! The reason why Shikamaru and Neji ran away! The reason why I'm going to loose my virginity to a guy! The reason why Sakura-chan doesn't like me and I look stupider than I really am and ramen has Naruto in it and sky's blue and clouds are up in the sky and Kishimoto-sensei's twin brother thinks he looks more handsome even though they look exactly the same! It's all his fault!

"Sasuke!" I shouted as I furiously ran towards him. I pointed at him, my eyes narrowed. "You'd better have a really, really good reason why you're here right now!"

Sasuke stared at me, and then he lowered his head. His shoulders were shaking. Getting a bit worried—this was definitely not a reaction I was expecting—I gingerly asked, "…Sasuke?"

"Ku. Kukukuku…." Sasuke started to snicker in the creepiest way. Ino and I exchanged looks.

"…I need to go and do my errand now! See you later, Naruto, Sasuke-kun!" Ino suddenly said before she ran away. O, oi? How could you leave me here with this nutcase!

"I'm… always watching you… Naruto…" Sasuke rasped out between his snickers. "Wa-hahaha! There is no escape from me, my lovely cutey Naruto-chan! Just accept your fate that you're mine already!"

I felt like crying. He was really scaring me now!

"I, I think I forgot to water my plant," I said, turning away. Sasuke caught my arm and almost reflexively I screamed. "Kyaaaaa---!"

Albeit it was a bit girly, but I really was in mortal danger, you know!

"I was only making fun of you, dimwit. I'll submit the mission report after all. You wouldn't know what I've written, so you wouldn't be able to give a proper report, right?"

…Eh? So he was worried about me…? Ah… He's really sweet, after all. I nodded and gave him the mission report. He pulled me closer.

"Eh…?"

"Good night kiss."

Wha, what! I tightly closed my eyes as his lips overlapped mine. For a guy whose only kissing partner had been another guy, Sasuke was a really good kisser. I didn't have basis for comparison since he's the only one I kissed, but his lips were soft, the arms he held me in felt comforting, and he was so very warm, so it felt good. Sasuke nibbled at my lips almost kittenishly, then lightly sucked in my lower lips between his lips. It was all good and nice until another part of his mouth that was not quite as welcomed forced its way into my mouth.

"Mn? Nnnn!"

I struggled as Sasuke licked my gums behind my teeth, then ran his tongue over my teeth and wrapped it around my tongue. I was seriously considering whether I should bite his tongue or not whne I felt Sasuke groping my ass. Again.

"U… uwaaaaan!"

I pushed Sasuke away and felt tears prickling at the edge of my eyes. And just when I was thinking he was being sweet! He's only a pervert! I hate him after all!

"Good night, Naruto," Sasuke said, a smug smile on his face.

"You… you… King of perverts! Octopus! Squid! Sea anemone sea urchin sea cumber starfish I hate you! Fueeen—"

I heard Sasuke laughing as I ran away. Bully! I made a vow to myself to not let Sasuke touch me tomorrow. I'll never like someone like him! Never!

…But isn't it too late to say that…?

End-

It, it was fun... TvT (Sasuke and Naruto, I'm so sorry...) If you'd like an answer to your review(i.e. you have a question), please leave your review at my website. Thank you for reading this story and I hope you've enjoyed:3


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